Top Tips for Socialising Sober by Emily Syphas
Socialising sober can be one of the most daunting things about being sober or thinking about cutting back on the booze. We question whether we still be fun, whether people will think we are boring, whether or not we will be able to hold a conversation and will we still be able to tear up the dance floor? The thing about sober socialising is that none of these fears will come true. You will still be fun, you definitely will not come across boring, your conversation will be more engaging and you will most definitely be able to tear up the dance floor. The best bit? You won’t wake up with a stonking hangover and will be able to remember it all in the morning! See below my Top 5 tips for making the most and enjoying socialising sober;
1. Prepare yourself
Before a sober night out I like to really get in the mood this would previously look like downing a bottle of rose while getting ready and getting some dutch courage inside of me. However these days I like to get myself in a positive mindset as I feel this is crucial in enjoying and let’s be honest surviving a sober night out, especially if it’s a big occasion like a wedding or birthday when you know there will be lots of temptation around. I meditate for 10 minutes, go for a run, have a bath and then pour myself some kombucha, stick some house tunes and volia you are ready to go face the night head on! My theory is if we feel at our best we are less likely to engage in behaviours that we know aren’t good for us.
2. Order a soft drink first
Now this might sound blindingly obviously because lets face it what else are you doing to order? BUT make sure this is the first thing you do ,this can be the biggest hurdle when you arrive and everyone is ordering alcohol or there are trays being passed around its VERY easy to get into the ‘oh I will just have one mentality’ but if you get in there order your AF drink it sets you on the right path for the evening. It takes the battle out of your head which is when we can fool ourselves into thinking that maybe it’s a good idea!
3. Embrace Conversation
On a night out the only thing I would usually worry about is where my next drink is coming from or if the waiter was on their way to top my glass if was an occasion. I very rarely engaged or was present in the conversations I was having. However in my sobriety I care about what people have to say, want to ask questions and find out more about them. I find I leave night outs feeling more fulfilled and enriched through deeper conversations
4. Phone a friend
We are always going to encounter tricky sober socialising situations that we find triggering, uncomfortable or anxiety inducing. I recommend having a sober pal on speed dial so if you need some support you always have a phone a friend to help you through and remind you why picking up that drink is never a good idea.
5. Don’t be afraid to leave
Don’t feel like you have to stay the entire evening you fact you have shown up, had a good time and been present is enough. When we are drinking we usually order more alcohol to keep the night going but in sobriety our mind and bodies let us know when we have had enough. It’s usually the thing when we wake up with a hangover and we have the thought ‘if only I left at midnight or before the shots came out’. We instinctively know when are meant to leave but drinking lets us override this whereas in sobriety we get to aware and it’s great to be able to listen to ourselves, know we have had a great night and can wake up in the morning feeling fresh.