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How To Handle Your Muchness

I have spent most of my life living in too muchness. This was never more present than when it came to my drinking and drug taking. A true life of muchness.

I was either not drinking, going to the gym every day, juicing, going to yoga and going to bed at 10:00pm or going out for 2 days straight and bouncing between high and hungover. This translated to every area of my life. I was either fully IN or fully OUT.

Too Muchness In Dating

I am a wildly passionate and loving human that is also super neurodiverse. I have always found it hard to regulate my emotions without them swinging to extremes. This has been difficult when it has come to building relationships, specifically romantic relationships. I feel deeply or find it difficult to feel at all which means I find it hard to navigate the middle mode of emotions.

Then there is always the question of do I tell my dates I am neurodiverse or do I wait for them to realise that maybe there is something a little ‘unique’ about me, my emotions and the way my brain operates. I also experience very highs and crashing lows.  I am not sure if this is very sexy? And I’m pretty sure it can all feel a little bit too much (even with my shiney sober self).

When it comes to dating I can’t multiple date and I prefer to put my energy into one connection as I find it hard to have emotions for more than one person at one time. The plus side? I am super loyal, I give myself the chance to get to know people properly without writing them off too early (which I think we can do all  too easily when it comes to modern dating as we are only one swipe away from our next date) and I am more intentional about who I date. I think there is real value in getting to know one person well rather than many people on the surface.

Too Muchness In Other Relationships

I don’t just find this when building romantic relationships but just when building relationships in general. I am no doubt a people person and thrive off new connections and social occasions. I like to get to know people and have no time for shallow and surface conversations. I am curious about people and love to always find out more.

Sometimes this might be ‘too much’ for people but ultimately, we are all human and we are here to shine our brightest light, not dim our sparkle and mine just happens to be my very inquisitive, thoughtful and deeply emotional personality and brain.

Since starting my hangover free journey back in 2018 I feel like my emotions are more in HD than they have ever been. Without alcohol I can no longer escape the fact they are all mine. I would often think maybe it was alcohol’s fault or my hangover’s fault for the muchness of my mind but it turns out that no, it’s just MY mind.

I can be labeled ‘too intense’ ‘too sensitive’ and ‘too emotional’. I found an article by Psychology Today about too muchness and I found the below paragraph which sums up how I feel and explains my life experience a little better;

Some people feel more than others. They are often told—spoken and unspoken—that they are “too much,” “too intense,” “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” and that their behaviors are either “too dramatic” or “too timid.”

People who feel more deeply and intensely than others are more aware of subtleties; their brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. People with emotional intensity are sometimes described as sensitive, caring, and attentive. At their best, they can be exceptionally perceptive, intuitive, and keenly observant of the subtleties of the environment. Yet they are also overwhelmed by the constant waves of social nuances and others’ emotional and psychic energies.They tend to notice and remember a lot and can be overstimulated when things are too chaotic or novel for a long time.

The Benefits Of Too Muchness

I have a deep understanding of humans and their emotions – I can really FEEL others when they are talking to me which means I have a really deep understanding of them which allows for deeper connections.

I am highly sensitive to my surroundings – this means I am able to feel a deep appreciation and pleasure for things such as nature, art, music, sounds and textures.

I am very open and loving – I can really feel love easily and view others with empathy and kindness.

I am perceptively gifted –  I can sense and perceive things that others miss. With acute awareness, I can see beyond superficiality, grasp patterns, and make linkages.

Intellectually I am  inquisitive and reflective – I have a strong need to seek to understand, to expand my horizons and  to gain knowledge.

I can connect with my intuition – I can almost feel things before they happen or before they are said.

How To Embrace Your Muchness

Self – acceptance – learning self -acceptance, giving yourself self – compassion and self kindness for the unique being that you are is a great place to start in your journey of embracing your muchness.

You have a gift – seeing the world in a different way is a gift. You are able to connect with yourself, the world and others they many people cannot simply access. If you can learn to harness this power you can start to view these qualities as your gifts to the world.

Create communication – sometimes it might feel that others find it hard to understand you. It is important with those closest to us or sometimes with new relationships that we are able to communicate our needs and explain a little more how our brain works so we can make our relationships run a little more smoothly.

I hope you can see how magical, unique and special you really are and that your muchness is your superpower.

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