How To Ditch Sober FOMO

How To Ditch Sober FOMO

The fear of missing out can creep up at the most unexpected times and be an ugly trigger. If you are struggling with Sober FOMO our guide below is here to help you!

1. Play the tape forward

       Look at the next 12 hours and see where you would be in 12 hours time if you drank alcohol. What would the next day look like? How would it feel? Where would you end up? It’s important for us to be realistic about where our drinking takes us, play the tape forward and to ask ourselves if we really want to be in that place.

2. Enjoy remembering it all in the morning

Remember the times when you woke up and had to piece the night together? Message a friend and ask them what happened? Look at your uber account to see where you ended up? That feeling of uncertainty, anxiety and regret. You never have to ask yourself any of these questions again or feel this way after a night out. Whether you decided to go out and not drink or decided to stay in, you can wake up knowing exactly what you did, who with and where. Why would you want to miss out on that feeling?

3. Indulge in some YOU time

What a complete joy to have an evening by yourself being able to have a bath/shower, read a book, order/cook some delicious food, get an early night and wake up feeling fresh. Missing out on a night out can be a complete blessing which allows you some time to relax, reflect and recuperate.

4. Be grateful

       Write down the 5 things you are grateful for that not drinking gives you. Here are a few of our examples 1) I am grateful I don’t have to waste a day with a hangover 2) I am grateful I got to have an early night 3) I am grateful to wake up with no regrets.

5. Remember you get to have it ALL

       The irony is you aren’t missing out at all, by not drinking you are leading a life where you get to do everything, properly show up and take part in it ALL! You can go out on a Friday night and still make your exercise class on Saturday morning, you can go out for drinks on Thursday, Friday AND Saturday with no problem and be totally present. You can be there for the most important people in your life while being the best version of yourself!

Previous posts

Learning To Say No

Cultivating Self-Love by Living a Booze-Free Life

Maintaining Booze-Free Joy Long After Dry January

Preparing for the Festive Season Sober

Reasons to Stay Sober after October

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Sober Dating

Sober Dating

For many people dating and alcohol go hand in hand but it’s time to rip up the rule book. Consciously sober dating builds stronger relationships and deeper connections that can lead to longer lasting partnerships.

Here are some sober dating tips from Sober & Social Founder Emily Syphas:

1. Tell them you don't drink before the date

       Honesty is the best policy when it comes to sober dating.  I always make someone aware of the fact I’m not drinking before going on the date. That way if they truly don’t want to go on a sober date or date someone sober in the long term, you have already saved yourself wasting time on someone who, quite frankly wouldn’t have been right for you.

It’s best to manage expectations before you go, especially if they are planning the date. It will avoid you being taken to a wine bar where they probably won’t have much on the menu you can drink and it won’t be enjoyable for either of you. Some people may not be on board with your new conscious lifestyle which is also fine, but laying honest foundations is crucial to setting you on the path to finding someone in total alignment with who you are.

2. Be Confident

Own the fact you won’t be drinking and feel confident that you will be turning up to the date being the best version of yourself. You want to create a healthy and conscious relationship and you will only do this by being healthy and conscious within yourself. This choice is something to be proud of, the right person for you will be intrigued, open and totally on board with trying a sober date. The more confident we are in our choices the more confident and at ease others will be.

3. Be Creative

Sober dating is the perfect opportunity to broaden your horizons and do something different! It’s the chance to go bowling, play table tennis, challenge  someone to a game of darts, play mini-golf, go axe throwing, pottery making, try an exercise class you have always wanted to do or go on a sober bar crawl! The beauty of not drinking is it makes you explore different things and gives you the chance to be creative instead of just going for a drink! The best bit? You have tried something new, truly connected with someone and wake up hangover free. Cialis consegna immediata Cialis consegna immediata

4. Find a drink you love

       Not drinking doesn’t have to be boring as there are so many amazing alternatives that are just as interesting as the real deal. Finding a drink you love on a night out will make all the difference and even allow you both to try something different together. If your zoom dating perhaps suggest you both bringing an AF drink to the party.

Previous posts

Learning To Say No

Cultivating Self-Love by Living a Booze-Free Life

Maintaining Booze-Free Joy Long After Dry January

Preparing for the Festive Season Sober

Reasons to Stay Sober after October

Sign up to receive our FREE 5 step guide for ditching Sober FOMO

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Top Tips for Navigating Friendships

Top Tips for Navigating Friendships

When beginning your sober journey, a noticeable area of change is often in the dynamics of your friendships and relationships. You may need to heal friendships that you have damaged in your drinking days, you may need to ‘come out as sober’ to your friends or you may need to make space for your new sober friends.

Below are our top tips on how to navigate your friendships as your sober self.

1. Be Honest

       We personally found the more honest we were about our sobriety the better our friendships became. We were totally honest with our nearest and dearest as to why we were making this decision and because these people love us they wanted the best for us. You will be surprised how supportive people will be when they know your why. Honesty is definitely the best policy.

2. Suggest Fun Activities

Suggest other ideas away from your usual drinking environments that you would usually hang out in together. Go to an exercise class, meet for brunch, go for a walk and grab coffee. You can still spend together but you just need to change what you would usually do together (AKA getting smashed)

3. Find Sober Pals

This has been one of the most game changing and rewarding things we have done in our sobriety. It means you have a strong network of people that truly understand you, support you and are your sober cheerleaders.

4. Set Boundries

       Make sure you are realistic with your friendships. For example if you are going on a boozy night out and you know everyone will be drinking, manage expectations and let them know you will be attending but not be staying the whole night or if it’s something that is to triggering politely decline and organise a lunch on a future date. Don’t feel like you have to attend everything.

5. Let Them Go

Sometimes people won’t get it and just like life friendships ebb and flow. There will be some people that you may feel disconnected to with your new found sober lifestyle but there will be others you will grow closer to who will be able to better support you. It’s okay to let people go and free up space for you and for new friends to flow in.

Previous posts

Learning To Say No

Cultivating Self-Love by Living a Booze-Free Life

Maintaining Booze-Free Joy Long After Dry January

Preparing for the Festive Season Sober

Reasons to Stay Sober after October

Sign up to receive our FREE 5 step guide for ditching Sober FOMO

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Our Top 6 Ready to Drink Cocktails

Our Top 6 Ready to Drink Cocktails

Ready to drink for any occasion even though we know it’s fun to play mixologist there are times where you just need drinks that are easy yet delicious. Perfect for picnics, little get togethers and summer BBQ’s we have listed our top 6 ready to drink cocktails so you can have none of the hassle but all of the fun!

Clean Liquor

https://cleanliquor.com

The development of The Clean Liquor Co. has been a long and personal journey. For these canned cocktail they have skilfully combined fragrant and juniper-packed CleanGin with a wonderfully well balanced and refreshing tonic water and CleanRum which which skilfully combines the sweet caramel notes and cayenne pepper spice of CleanRum with delicious cola. Both these mixed drink that is only 0.5% vol yet crisp and delicious.

Highball

https://www.highballcocktails.com

Highball are husband and wife team Red and Kate Johnson. They were seeking alcohol free alternatives to their favourite cocktails that were delicious, convenient and would be suitable for social occasions and drinking at home. Because they mix alcohol free cocktails for ourselves, they decided to develop a small range of some of their favourites – and called them Highball Cocktails. They come in 6 delicious flavours Cosmopolitan, Gin & Tonic, Ginger Dram, Italian Spritz, Mojito and Pink G&T

Nocktail

https://www.nocktail.com

Nocktail use a stimulating, natural botanical blend of Garden Mint, Kafir Lime, Lemongrass & A Hint Of Chili combined with a delightful Natural Rum Flavour (alcohol-free of course!) to bring these Mojitos to life and help re-create the similar sensations you would expect from a traditional Mojito. The same satisfying flavours, without the dissatisfying mornings.

NOgrini

https://seedlipdrinks.com/uk/

A non-alcoholic twist on the classic Negroni, the NOgroni was born in Seedlip founder Ben Branson’s garage. It debuted at The World’s Best Bar Awards in London in 2017 and has been a popular non-alcoholic listing in some of the best bars around the world ever since. Now Seedlip is bringing the NOgroni into a bottled concept. The NOgroni is a bold & bittersweet contemporary take on a classic cocktail made with a perfectly balanced mix of Seedlip Spice 94, Æcorn Bitter & Æcorn Aromatic.

Served as an aperitif with food or simply enjoyed on its own, the NOgroni is a complex, bitter & citrusy blend with hints of Chinotto Orange, Grapefruit, All Spice & Gentian.

Ish

https://www.ishspirits.com

ISH is the alternative for the mindful drinker. The athlete, the pregnant woman, or the designated driver. It’s for those who can tear up the dance floor sober, and for those who simply want to wake up with a clear head on a Sunday morning. Realizing people craved the same familiar flavors. ISH, was created  we can all still enjoy our favorite cocktails with no- og low-alcohol, for any occasion, and most importantly – without compromise. They have two delicious canned flavours SpritzISH which is truly a bittersweet balanced experience, with flavors reminiscent of long summer evenings and warm nights and GinISH and tonic.

Square Root

https://www.squarerootsoda.com

In 2012 Ed + Robyn started making Square Root Sodas, selling them at their local farmers market.They enlisted the help of a 1920s delivery Tricycle, Elsie, and began peddling them all around town.Since then, they opened up their very own Soda Works in a railway arch in Hackney and demand for the sodas has grown exponentially.With an ever changing range of flavours, Square Root Sodas truly are unique. Ed, Robyn and the team really do strive to get the most out of their ingredients and ensure that every flavour you try is the best it can be! They have their non- alcoholic G&T as well as there non -alcoholic Negroni Spritz.

Previous posts

Learning To Say No

Cultivating Self-Love by Living a Booze-Free Life

Maintaining Booze-Free Joy Long After Dry January

Preparing for the Festive Season Sober

Reasons to Stay Sober after October

Sign up to receive our FREE 5 step guide for ditching Sober FOMO

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Question time with Brandon Buchanan

Question time with Brandon Buchanan

Brandon Buchanan is a Chicago based poet, writer and recovering addict. Brandon shares his journey over his inspirational Instagram page @fromalx. We spoke with Brandon to discuss his journey and how sober communities can be more inclusive.

How long have you been sober?
I was sitting in the back of a police car on March 11, 2020, and realized I hit my rock bottom. I was a mess. I’ve since completed a drug treatment and recovery program, and started documenting my journey via @fromALX

 

What challenges have you found being in an inter-racial gay relationship?
My family’s safety continues to be the #1 challenge – especially during these periods of social unrest and injustice. I’m fearful of those who have hatred in their hearts; of those who are small-minded. Some days it’s hard to hold my husband’s hand in public because I can’t control the “crazies” who are out there.

 

What do you think sober/recovery communities should do more of to be inclusive of the black community?
AMPLIFY OUR VOICES!! I’m a Black, gay man in recovery and I have a story to tell – WE have stories to tell. There’s so much stigma in the Black community related to mental health and sobriety, and the last thing that we want is to be excluded. Our non-Black brothers and sisters in this community should continue to promote and support Black voices who are in recovery.

 

What has been the best thing about your new sober life in your relationship?
Rediscovering the love I have for my husband, my family, and my friends. Alcohol and drugs trapped me in the “sunken place”. I also love writing and art, and my husband is just as much of a contributor to @fromALX as I am. Sobriety is a journey we are on together!

 

If you want to hear more about Brandon’s story, follow his Instagram @fromALX.

 

Previous posts

Learning To Say No

Cultivating Self-Love by Living a Booze-Free Life

Maintaining Booze-Free Joy Long After Dry January

Preparing for the Festive Season Sober

Reasons to Stay Sober after October

Sign up to receive our FREE 5 step guide for ditching Sober FOMO

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Top Tips for Socialising Sober

Top Tips for Socialising Sober

Socialising sober can be one of the most daunting things about being sober or thinking about cutting back on the booze. We question whether we still be fun, whether people will think we are boring, whether or not we will be able to hold a conversation and will we still be able to tear up the dance floor? The thing about sober socialising is that none of these fears will come true. You will still be fun, you definitely will not come across boring, your conversation will be more engaging and you will most definitely be able to tear up the dance floor. The best bit? You won’t wake up with a stonking hangover and will be able to remember it all in the morning! See below my Top 5 tips for making the most and enjoying socialising sober;

1. Prepare yourself

Before a sober night out I like to really get in the mood this would previously look like downing a bottle of rose while getting ready and getting some dutch courage inside of me. However these days I like to get myself in a positive mindset as I feel this is crucial in enjoying and let’s be honest surviving a sober night out, especially if it’s a big occasion like a wedding or birthday when you know there will be lots of temptation around. I meditate for 10 minutes, go for a run, have a bath and then pour myself some kombucha, stick some house tunes and volia you are ready to go face the night head on! My theory is if we feel at our best we are less likely to engage in behaviours that we know aren’t good for us.

2. Order a soft drink first

Now this might sound blindingly obviously because lets face it what else are you doing to order? BUT make sure this is the first thing you do ,this can be the biggest hurdle when you arrive and everyone is ordering alcohol or there are trays being passed around its VERY easy to get into the ‘oh I will just have one mentality’ but if you get in there order your AF drink it sets you on the right path for the evening. It takes the battle out of your head which is when we can fool ourselves into thinking that maybe it’s a good idea!

3. Embrace Conversation

On a night out the only thing I would usually worry about is where my next drink is coming from or if the waiter was on their way to top my glass if was an occasion. I very rarely engaged or was present in the conversations I was having. However in my sobriety I care about what people have to say, want to ask questions and find out more about them. I find I leave night outs feeling more fulfilled and enriched through deeper conversations

4. Phone a friend

We are always going to encounter tricky sober socialising situations that we find triggering, uncomfortable or anxiety inducing. I recommend having a sober pal on speed dial so if you need some support you always have a phone a friend to help you through and remind you why picking up that drink is never a good idea.

5. Don’t be afraid to leave

Don’t feel like you have to stay the entire evening you fact you have shown up, had a good time and been present is enough. When we are drinking we usually order more alcohol to keep the night going but in sobriety our mind and bodies let us know when we have had enough. It’s usually the thing when we wake up with a hangover and we have the thought ‘if only I left at midnight or before the shots came out’. We instinctively know when are meant to leave but drinking lets us override this whereas in sobriety we get to aware and it’s great to be able to listen to ourselves, know we have had a great night and can wake up in the morning feeling fresh.

Previous posts

Learning To Say No

Cultivating Self-Love by Living a Booze-Free Life

Maintaining Booze-Free Joy Long After Dry January

Preparing for the Festive Season Sober

Reasons to Stay Sober after October

Sign up to receive our FREE 5 step guide for ditching Sober FOMO

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Question time with Lazarus Letcher

Question time with Lazarus Letcher

Lazarus Nance Letcher was born in raised in the Midwest. They’ve been performing for over twenty years, and love nothing more than sharing the story of their people over the swell of strings. They currently live on ancestral and unceeded Tiwa land also known as Albuquerque, New Mexico. Laz is pursuing a PhD in American Studies with a focus on folklore, Black liberation, and queer and trans studies. They teach Introduction to Peace Studies, covering liberation movements and resistance efforts. They’ve written about topics like transgender and Two-Spirit migration, intersectional approaches to addiction and recovery, Black and Indigenous solidarity in liberation movements, and transgender connection/kinship through folklore. They give presentations like LGBTQ 101s with an emphasis on settler colonialism and white supremacy. Laz is also a sexuality educator, wishing and working for a world where we all get what we desire.

How long have you been sober?

I’ve been sober for 2.5 years.

Tell us about your work?

I’m finishing my Ph.D. in American Studies and teaching inside and outside the academy. My work centres Black trans voices as a path to liberation from white supremacy and settler colonialism. I believe we’re in a beautiful moment of Black and Indigenous solidarity, especially with the LGBTQIA+ and Two-Spirit communities.

How have you found racism to be present in the treatment of BIPOC communities when it comes to recovery?

Racism and white supremacy still exist in recovery spaces. People often have a prepared narrative for me while it seems white folks in sobriety are allotted more space to be themselves and fall under the truth that addiction can strike anyone. A solid example of that is “the war on drugs” versus “the opioid crisis” – it was a war when the folks most affected were BIPOC communities and a health crisis once it began affected white folks. Recovery spaces are still predominantly white and follow models made by and for white cisgender men – I have found relief in these spaces at different times but I had to learn to take what works for me and to leave the rest. I’m grateful for the increase in affinity groups for recovery and find deep healing unpacking personal and generational trauma BIPOC only recovery spaces.

What advice would you give to sober communities if they want to be more inclusive of the BIPOC at LGBTQ+ communities?

To make spaces more welcoming to BIPOC and/or the LGBTQIA+ communities take a look at your group and the physical space where you meet. Could a nonbinary person like me use the bathroom? Do your materials use gendered language? Who founded your group, and what was the history of segregation that might lead to the separation in the rooms today? Are materials available in Spanish? Simple things like this can be signals to folks like me that we’re welcome in a space or group.

To follow their journey head to @l.nuzzle

Previous posts

Learning To Say No

Cultivating Self-Love by Living a Booze-Free Life

Maintaining Booze-Free Joy Long After Dry January

Preparing for the Festive Season Sober

Reasons to Stay Sober after October

Sign up to receive our FREE 5 step guide for ditching Sober FOMO

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